‘I was afraid for myself and my family. I didn’t want to die but I saw no other way in my mind. This is when I knew I had to get help’
Lucy came to Talking Therapies Manchester for help after struggling to cope with suicidal thoughts and self-harming. With our help, she’s been able to open up about her feelings, which has allowed her to overcome her difficulties and thrive.
I was in a bad place and self-harming, something I had done since I was a child, but nobody knew because I hid it well.
It got to a point where self-harming wasn’t enough anymore, and I wanted to die. Life, so to speak, felt like it was too much for me.
I was afraid for myself and my family. I didn’t want to die but I saw no other way in my mind. This is when I knew I had to get help.
I spent a night in hospital, following a suicide attempt, which was the worst the night of my entire life. Being there was a complete wake-up call and I vowed there and then that I would do whatever it took to live a fulfilled life.
I reached out for the first time and got in touch with Talking Therapies Manchester who arranged for one-to-one therapy sessions.
The biggest obstacle for me has always been talking and being open. I’ve spent my whole life pleasing others and not having a voice. Instead of talking I would cut or punch something.
Talking Therapies was great at getting me to open up. It’s helped me to understand that how I feel is ok and normal even. I hate the term normal, as everybody is individual, and we have to embrace our differences. But the service has taught me to talk, explore my creative side and be proud of who I am.
It’s not been easy and I have had wobbles. I recently self-harmed resulting in a trip to A&E and 11 stitches. However, after speaking to therapists at Talking Therapies, I know now that it’s ok to have set-backs, after self-harming for 20 years the urges will not disappear overnight.
I like how Talking Therapies made me feel sane. I’ve always thought there was something wrong with me, like I was different from others, when in actual fact there isn’t. Talking Therapies helped me see life from a completely different perspective and helped me move forward in a positive way.
Without this support, in all honesty, I don’t think I would still be married. I don’t think I would have my new job where I get to travel the world and succeed successfully. And, more importantly, I hate to think what would have happened to my dog, he would miss me like mad or be a completely different dog if he had to live with “the old” me.